Leadership Circle: Difficult Conversations

Last Thursday we gathered at Echo Horizon School. A big thank you to Peggy Proctor for hosting
and helping us facilitate and plan the evening. We reflected on the idea of Difficult Conversations
(see articles here). As the evening progressed, we thought about what is gained by reframing these
conversations as Powerful or Crucial. How might our language around difficult powerful conversations
influence our willingness to lean into them?

Overheard…

• Real listening is being willing, actually willing, to change your mind.
• Practice is failing.
• Finding allies, wherever you can, is key.
• Rarely is something actually an emergency. Take a breath and wait a day.
• We get upset in conversations because we are trying to please and fix.
• Nothing good happens at 11pm; that email can wait a day.
• Read Brene Brown’s new book and consider this: People are hard to hate close up. Move in.
• Recharge your mindset before a difficult conversation - that little voice is more powerful than you think.
• Consider reframing a difficult conversation as an opportunity for a gutsy conversation, perhaps, as heard via this podcast, as a micro-bravery.

As Azizi and I were preparing for the evening, we thought about the purpose of our circle. We want to be
a place for women in leadership in independent schools to connect. We also want it to be a place to find
support, help and friendship. We don’t want it to feel like a burden. Often I am feeling overwhelmed by
work and home, and long for unscheduled evenings. I find though that when I push myself to get to circle, I
end up feeling better. Connection feeds us and sustains us.

We would like to write a mission for our group. Stay tuned, and feel free to make suggestions if you have a
succinct, pithy sentence that summarizes the above paragraph. :)

Also, thank you, thank you to the CATDC for sponsoring our meeting; wine and snacks tend to help with
fostering great conversation and connection. I hope to see you at Women in Leadership at the Skirball
on January 30th. Fall in Love with Feedback (2/13/18) and Navigating Tricky Conversations (3/20/18)
look good too.

Lastly, be sure to save the date for our next circle on March 19th at The Buckley School. We plan to
discuss strategies for engaging our communities. Need tips for leading a great meeting? Want to tell the
story of your school? How might we to relate our own stories to vision? The invitation will go out in
early February. If you would like to invite someone new to circle, feel free to send me their email address.
We have a group on Facebook - follow us there.