Skip to main content

Stages of Stress

The stages of stress I have experienced in the last 48 hours: confusion, doubt, stomach pain, worry, over sharing with anyone who will listen about said doubt and worry, furious work resulting in no sleep, realizing I'm not alone in confusion, exercise, courage, seeking community, determination.

Today was better than yesterday.

Today started off with a run in Riverside Park with new friends. I think the exercise helped boost my confidence to ask a "dumb question" to our ethics teacher as still on day 3 I was (am?) perplexed by my esoteric ethics readings. The question resulted in his drawing a diagram on the board which helped me make sense of key terms. In doing so he also admitted that to truly understand these concepts would take something more akin to 25 years and we are thinking about them for 2 weeks. After spending this week engaged in significant internal abuse of my intellect, I am going to let Pincoffs go. 

Our discussion turned in Montaigne which was a welcome change. My favorite moment was after having discussed how we encourage character development at our schools, it was asked  how we could challenge our students to grapple with this question: 
"Do you have a well formed soul?"

The following Montaigne quote speaks to my ever evolving philosophy of teaching toward running a student centered class that is lower in lecture and higher in engaging math tasks:
"Spewing up food exactly as you have swallowed it is evidence of failure to digest."
During lunch we got to chat with Klingenstein Summer Institute students. This was a nice way for me to put aside my internal drama and remember the feelings of being a newer teacher learning exciting tricks of the trade. 

During Negotiations my sleep deprivation caught up me. Recaffeination, a positive negotiation practice, and dinner with new friends contributed to a satisfying end to my day.

from the morning run in Riverside Park

Sakura Park is near my apartment